This week's GAYLEs are a selection of condoms in little matchbook covers. A wide selection of sizes and flavors are available.

The Gayle --Awarded by Omar in the recap to Parker Lewis stroking Lex's face. Most of us agreed. Wheeee! It's the first time in a while we've all been on the same wavelength. But even Omar noted a runner-up (and again we all agreed), Lex's "Shut up and kiss me" look at Clark at the very end, though there were at least a few of us who though Clark's "I wonder if he'll kiss me" look just before that took the award. And who can forget the look that Clark gave as he started to untie Lex on the sofa? Several also thought that our Villain of the Week (Not NotJude) also looked like he wanted to kiss Lex. But then who doesn't?

GAL -- While not exactly awarded by Omar, this one definitely goes to Ma Kent's acknowledgement that her son's relationship with Lex is hot enough to need to cool down.

HoNay! -- Um, well Lex is supposed to be interested in Amanda. And Clark's thrilled to interview Lana. However, neither actress makes a strong enough impression that any HoNay comes through. From Amanda it's understandable we only see her three times and each time it's a variation on the same scene. From Lana, whom we've seen for 14 weeks, it's unacceptable.

PHOC -- Lex himself. As many have noted with his bald head and confident strut Lex can be pretty phallic looking and the way Jude was petting him, trying to get a rise out of him (and failing miserably since he's not Clark) was way too graphic not to notice. See the GAYLE above.

SWOLI -- I'm going to make a unilateral declaration here for "and poisoned cows that just isn't normal," because my housemate, The Prof, laughed so hard for so long that I couldn't hear the rest of the scene and part of the bit following. He kept asking if we had an award for a line like that, and I said, "Of course we do." However, a very honorable mention to Bo Kent's line, "Cows don't feed themselves." As siskodax was the first to point out ruminants eat grass, and there's plenty on the Kent farm.

The BLOW -- "In a world of designer water, Clark is straight from the tap." And it explains why Lex hasn't been sucking on Ty Nant bottles lately too. Honorable mention to Chloe's "Has your son always been this strange?" Anyone want to take bets as to whether she keeps the answer off the record? There were also many late votes (and much speculation) for "Afraid my dark past is going to rub off on you?"

The Juvie -- I'm an alien from another planet. I guess my adoption could be a little odd. Clark is not always the swiftest horse in the race.

The Platypus -- So many of us want to give it to Clark for the line with which he defends Lex to his Dad, "The past is in the past, the best we can do is look to the future." As siskodax says, "Clark, are you sure Bo isn't your biological father?" However on rewatching I realized that Clark was quoting Bo to himself which means that, as usual, Bo Kent gets the Platypus

BIG -- The guy with GAYLE performing the PHOC, if that's not the BIG what is? Well, there's also been some suggestion that Lex air kissing at the bartender in the first flashback would count.

HUG -- Clark and Lex on the sofa. It may not have been grasp, per se, but it certainly seemed Uber HomoErotic. As mako says it's unlikely we'll see a lot of comfort scenes between these two because even "a moronic network exec couldn't fail to see the 'potential' there."

The Working!Gaydar -- This brand new award goes to Martha for recognizing that Clark's relationship with Lex is special. Mind you, this happens after Clark indicates that he has three phone numbers for Lex and is usually put right through by his secretary, so it's not exactly like the hints have been subtle.

Occasionals:

The Acting!Lana -- There are those who believed that she acted during the final scene of the episode. I think that I'm going to rule that there must be discernable acting in more than one scene for this to be awarded. Better luck next week, whiner.

The Yea! I finally have something to Do! -- Chloe. In some eyes she became less likable this week, but she definitely developed layers and depth. Pete gets an honorable mention for having a cute story about Clark in grade school, and actually making it over the 3 lines per episode hurdle.

The Diddler -- I like mako's suggestion of a Baby Diddler to SuperSixYearOld Clark beating up a bully on the playground. Most people thought it should go to Clark for saving his Lex.

The DICK -- Running Clark in his bespattered blue T-shirt got the most mentions, though several thought he looked very nice in his fancy duds for the Talon opening.

The LEXUS -- Sofa bowling. I agree with everyone who said, "A sofa? Why not catch him in your strong arms?"

The DRILL -- Lex was in leather. Lex was boxing and sweaty. Lex drove his Ferrari. Lex looked distraught. Lex apologized. Lex protected his friends. Lex breathed.

The PSHAW -- Yes, with caveats. As TheItGirl reminded me the LanaAngst was reduced to one fairy princess line, and this is good. However, Smallville writers, now hear this: Stupid plot contrivances like "everyone has a twin" will ban you from consideration in this category in future. If you hadn't brought us Bonage!Lex and "What is he doing with his hands"!Clark, we'd have been forced to keep this most coveted of awards from you. You have been warned.

BLASST -- What exactly were the little droplets all over Clark's chest when he ran up to the house in Metropolis? Actually, it's more fun to speculate. There are thought that all that liquid and shimmery glass as Lex fell over the side qualified. Let's call it a tie, hmmm?

The Flowers Award -- Several suggestions that we award this to the Villain of the Week for his overwhelming interest in his sister.

The Big Cheese -- Word to MetropolisGal and whomever else said it should go to those @##$$%% Spiderman ads.

The Arglefuffle -- Whether a mistake or a shoutout, we all heard, "CLEX!" Woo Hoo!

And I agree with all who suggested that: "Oh, dear lord! One of the forum posters has finally found Lex!" should get The Hammer.