This week's GAYLEs are those truly vintage movies Cannonball Run and The Lost Boys as this weeks villains seem to have been influenced by both (and to own the General Lee). Why couldn't they just run corn squeezings to dry counties like respectable folks instead of messing with Lex. Who wants to bet that the next Kryptonite Villain of the Week gets his powers from his illegal still? Lex and Clark get a copy of Maurice as I don't think that Lex would appreciate the subtler refinements of the first film, and Te's fanfic tells us they've already discussed the Subtext of the second.

Gayle -- Awarded by Omar in the recap to the KryptoCrips(tm Miss Windy) collectively for looking at Whitney "like he was a po'k chop" to quote a friend of Miss Windy's. Though there are many who though that Whitney's heavy breathing reaction should have copped the award, or at least a feel. Others thought they noticed heat when Clark looked at Whitney in the department store, or whenever Whitney looked at Clark in those two-handed scenes.

Those of us with a more romantic bent tended to go either for Lex's quiet smile at Clark's video incompetence at the beginning or Clark's long look at Lex on the line, "I saved you, didn't I. That turned out OK."

GAL -- While there were several nominations for the implications of Clark being Whitney's "Own personal boyscout." Most people thought the KryptoCrips telling Lex "Now turn around" -- um -- took it. As Tresca said, "Cuz Lex added 'and bend over' in his head."

HoNay! -- Since I refuse to believe that Lex would consider Lana as anything other than a stepping stone (literally, please), this goes to the very sweet Clark/Chloe dynamic. They really are pals, and he kissed her forehead, and they talk to each other like real people instead of the awkwardness he always has with Lana. I've gotten to believe that Lana's not even hormones anymore, just habit.

PHOC -- Many nominations for Lex's taser and one or two thought that Clark beating a log should get it, but it was the way the chief KryptoCrip wielded a bat that wins in the end. It just kept sliding up and down, bobbing in and out of the frame, and then pointing at Whitney. Nothing phallic about it at all.

SWOLI -- "Hey son, we need firewood, not toothpicks," gets it for two reasons. The first is that the word Bo Kent is really searching for is kindling, not toothpicks. The second is that the KryptoCrips used the affectionate term Bro so many times that it doesn't actually count as a single line.

The BLOW -- "I'm also mad at you for the Chicago fire of 1817 and the fall of the Roman Empire, making you directly responsible for the Dark Ages." Even sick, Chloe gets all the funny lines. This one's also compassionate which is nice. She reminds me of my first boyfriend who told me that I was not responsible for the fact that it was snowing outside.

The Juvie -- If I thought Lana really understood that people don't owe her anything for losing her parents twelve years ago, I'd give it to her. However, since I don't think she has the sense God gave a goose, witness her final expression, it goes to Whitney for learning that peer pressure is bad. Or was that drugs are bad? Or tattoos are permanent? Anyway one of those epiphany things.

The Platypus -- Insert your favorite Bo Kent line here. Nothing he said this week didn't qualify.

The HUG -- There were no specific nominations, but I think the way the Chief KryptoCrip was holding on to Whitney at the end said it all.

The BIG -- The first award in this new category goes to Lex, for automatically bending over and bracing himself when merely told to "Turn around."

Occasionals:

The Acting!Lana -- How many times must Miss Kreuk be told that constipated is a condition, not an emotion?? My favorite Lana moment was the perpetually puzzled smile on her face when she found out, from someone else, that her boyfriend had lost his scholarship opportunity. All of which is simply a long way of saying, that this will not be awarded this week.

The Yea! I finally have something to Do! -- The episode was Whitney-centric, and Chloe did look fetching and feisty even while flat on her back in the hospital, but this award is going to Pete because he had more than one scene and three lines. WooWooo! As the KryptoCrips say.

The DICK -- Every scene of Clark being a good hospital visitor wins.

The LEXUS -- The truck initiation wins this hands down. Oh, OK no one actually nominated it. Most people agreed with Cyb that decorating one's lair like a biker bar shows a want of breeding.

The DRILL -- Lex coming into save the day while remaining the best dressed man in Kansas gets it. There were also several nominations for his dynamic with both Chloe and Clark in the first scene, and the look on his face when he threatened the surviving gang members.

The PSHAW -- I will throw the writer under his own script before giving him this. Having said that, I believe it was Mr. Levens first Smallville episode, and he did do several things right. Like having Lex call Lana on her attempted emotional manipulation in their first Talon scene. He also let the actors show the real friendship among Chloe, Pete, and Clark which so many writers don't allow. So, I have high hopes for his future in this category.

BLASST -- Lex's taser sparks.

The Big Cheese -- Even Allison Mack couldn't rescue, "Clark Kent, Investigative Reporter, has a nice ring to it."

The Arglefuffle -- Whitney's line about a rememory has been nominated the most, but no one suggested what they heard instead.

The Hammer -- Well this is my favorite bit:

Bo just came from the bank, so he's got a withdrawal envelope full of platitudes. He pulls one out and hands it to Clark: "Son, becoming an adult means learning a lot of difficult lessons, one of which is that you can't save everybody, no matter who you are." Yeah, Dad, because you couldn't save everyone back in your superhero days, so you know exactly what it's like. Right. I forgot.