This episodes GAYLEs are Espresso Machines. Not only will they give you the Jitters, but you can make your own BLASSTed whipped cream drink with foam on the upper lip guaranteed!
GAYLE -- In what Omar terms "an upset" the Gayle goes to Jitterman for the look he gives Lex after Lex removes his flak jacket. Proving that Jitterman knows it's all about Lex, and removing him from contention for the End of Season RECOYL. However, most on the thread thought that either Clark's look of pained disappointment when he meets Lex's rent-a-date, or Lex's look of longing in the elevator after the rescue deserved mention, or Lionels look at Bo when he delivered the GAL. Which is why I mentioned them.
GAL -- Lionel to Bo Kent "I never forget a face." Rowr! [And was he looking at Jonathan's face, I ask you?--Miss Windy]
HoNay! -- Goes to Rent-a-Date aka So Ho aka the Heffa. Let the eye-scratching commence. (Although, it must be said that Lex's cringeing when RaD draped herself all over him actually contributed to this being a HoYay! Moment in the opinion of many.)
PHOC -- Awarded by Omar to Clark Kent's flashlight. (No the one in his hand, I mean the one that's lit.) However a very honorable mention has to go to Whitney and his pitchfork. I think this is the first (and probably last) time that Lex has been shut-out of this category. Though I'm sure the lad would like to get his hands on Clark's flashlight, er, blueprints, er, damn, just on Clark. By the way, why does Bo Kent always get the small tools?
SWOLI -- Doesn't matter what he said, it goes to Japanese Monster movie dubbed Pete. Honorable mentions to Bo Kent for having forgotten what Clark just said about the meteor rocks and repeating it like a revelation and to anything said by Chloe's dad. I'd probably take refuge in snark too. Lastly, good as Jitterbug was, even he couldn't rescue the line "Where's the elevator?"
The Juvie -- I'm going to viciously miswield my small amount of power and award the Juvie to Clark's line about "learning guitar [from Earl] to meet women." The look on his face was just so perfectly "did I just say women?" (with an implied, "I meant Lex") that I think it overcomes all the other wonderful possibilities. Like Lana saying she could have fun without Whitney. Or Clark's Very Special Lesson about parties getting out of hand when the 'rents are gone. Or Whitney's revelation that pitchforks can be PHOCs.
The Platypus -- Bo Kent and Ma Kent tie. Well, Bo Kent gets the award, but Ma Kent gets to caress it for recounting Bošs marriage proposal. The man spouted platitudes even in his youth, apparently.
Occasionals:
The Acting!Lana -- Was very emphatically not awarded this week. Not even to her makeup which may yet evolve into a Krypto mutant of the week.
The Yea! I finally have something to Do! -- Whitney, for acting all manly. Twice. Think we'll ever see him get to do that again? Me either.
The DICK -- Goes to Clark rescuing his man (oh yeah, and Jitterbug too) on the toppling walkway. Though, may I say that Brooding Soul's nomination of Clark lying flat on his back and looking weak after being flung through a window has featured in my dreams. Did I just say that aloud?
The LEXUS -- Hmmmm Omar thinks the speed for the vomit basin was the "Best use of Superpowers ever." Does this mean that it can't also be the Lamest? Because that's what most of us thought. Though a small but vocal minority thought the 'My son the carjack scene' won this one.
The DRILL -- All the man had to do was flash a little skin. Apparently everyone but me noticed his bare tummy when hanging from the gantry. This probably means that mine was the only floor that didn't need mopping. Many people thought the kevlar striptease should get this award, but Tummy!Lex won by a nose. {Did that just sound wrong to anyone else?}
The PSHAW -- is once again awarded. Anyone else notice that this and Hourglass both had women involved? As writers.
BLASST -- Our first BLASST is awarded to the fireworks. That a grown man brought to a teenagers party. Surely, that's against the law in Kansas. Everything else Clark and Lex want to do is. Oh yes, Dr. No, nominated the, er, effluvia that Clark steps in when he gets back from the hospital. Got to watch those nocturnal emissions, as my friend Twistie said. Eeew!!
